Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
