I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
My liver just had a heart attack.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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