Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
