just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
