Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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