I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
