look no pants
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Randomize
