I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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