sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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