Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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