So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
