remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
