Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
