two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
So many bounce houses so little time
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
