apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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