U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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