I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
