She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
