I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
