Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
