At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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