are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
