the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
