the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
