Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
the day after is always just damage control
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Randomize
