Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
