Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
