hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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