these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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