i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
