garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
