Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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