no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
