I just cut my nipple shaving
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
i need some magic done to my vagina
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
