Me too!
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
