I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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