he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Sext me about skeletons
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
