I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You need Xanax blowdarts
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
