you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
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