Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
