I wannas sexs uuuuu
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
