i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
