i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
