Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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