I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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