Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
When are your genitals available?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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