I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
