Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
