I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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