I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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