When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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