plz talk dirty to me
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
