I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
